im happy today, but im restless. im really frustrated, money nervous, and irritated that i think my flesh would bubble up and burst right off of the muscles. and then im calm and complacent. does this mean im bi polar? naw i dont think so. so much misdiagnoses in america. its stupid. or does it just mean that im neurotic, worried, anxious, and depressed?
went to craig's last nite. oie, that man. we talked alot, for once. he showed me a box full of photographs from when he was younger-how sweet? his hands were just as beautiful then. is that weird that i noticed? haha i think hes more handsome now ;) left around 10:30. it is what it is...he and i wont ever be a "couple" but im okay with that now. i guess. that doesnt mean i dont think that i dont love him any longer though. i think i always will. even if i was married, etc and he asked me, i would. absolutely. or at least, i say that now. who knows.
im inspired today. but stifled because i have to work tonite. damn that restaurant! i want to get on my sewing machine. i did for a little while yesterday, but then i had to make dinner and leave. so it wasnt long enough! also, i want to learn other stitches in knitting, write, photograph, and work on some art projects. ive been scared to begin for more than 6 months-at least. i dont know whats wrong. must be like the equivalent of writers block.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment