im a damned hypocrite

im a damned hypocrite and that makes me so angry. just yesterday i was supposed to start my diet, and i did. in fact, it was all going well until i got home around midnite and ate 2 pieces of pizza, which ended up making me very sick later in the night. worse than that though, is also just yesterday i wrote that "im so over drinking and getting drunk" and how stupid the whole thing is. so of course, i ended up getting wasted last nite. 4 beers and a mix drink. i was nervous as hell, but im not making excuses for myself. i didnt realize how quick they were going down and by the tyme i was driving home i couldnt even see straight. i had to one eye it. ugh omg. im getting nervous just htinking about it. now, its not that i want to quit drinking entirely, i just dont want to waste all my money and get loose like that. the other thing about last nite is that i got paid $50 to hostess trivia, and i walked out with $5. i think sparks miscalculated, or either i left him a $20 tip. thats money that i could have put towards the new orleans trip, or a camera, or sometihng concrete instead of getting so wasted i cant see. ugh im disgusted. today is a new day though. im trying to keep my head up and not get too down about this. i feel awful. i let myself down. this could be the worst feeling ever. im sad.