everything is bleak, dull, grey, and uneventful. i cant get excited about anything. in fact, the only excitement i get takes the shape of anxiety and thats certainly not fun. yoga feels like a restraint on my schedule, yet there isnt anything else i would be doing if i wasnt there. im really bummed that we dont have tv. but its a good thing because im not wasting tyme in front of that damned thing.
i scored an interview with integrata, and like, im not even excited about it. i feel like, okay thats cool. now i have to put my portfolio together and iron clothes and drive all the fuck the way out to the place. i was looking at craigslist earlier, and its like great, i have to look for an apartment in 4 months and thats just annoying as fuck cause i cant get a loft in the mills, and everytihng is too expensive to live in alone. and then i have to move all the piles and boxes and heaps of collections of things that are entirely pointless. i have issues. i collect fabric, and tights, and kitchenware, and magazines. seriously? im going to need a uhaul and alot of friends. oh ha, the friends that i dont have. riiight.
i would like matt to stop bothering me, cause its getting ridiculous. i have to explain things that i really dont have an explaination for. i would like sanatation engineer will to make a fucking effort. not at 3 am, which seems to be about the only tyme he tries to get in touch with me. i would liek to tell craig that i wnat to be his lady, but hes so damned crazy.
i need excitement, but what? and i need to lose like 15 pounds. i might have to fast for when i go to that interview. i should probably try to do that this weekend. and not drink from monday on.